Thursday, December 25, 2003
M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S !
sorry guys if you dont get a reply from me these days.. i'm really troubled.. troubled..
now i need is just a pair of faithful listening ears...
i need 2 lean on.. i cant stand alone anymore.. i am not emotionally strong..
went for countdown wif rebecca, minghui, weihao, yeowteck, jonathan yesterday.. its kinda annual gathering for us.. lotssa catching up among us.. (mostly crapz) n i realised that every single one has changed.. every year.. u can see a different person.. how i wish that time could pause at my happiest moment...
went to matt's place for xmas partying ... but wen i reached his apartment's entrance.. i left.. i just couldnt wear a mask 2 smile inside anymore.. i cant take it.. sat at da bus stop staring at moving cars frm 2 am to 3+? memories kept playing on my mind.. i just couldnt stop tinking of wad had happened days back.. he's my good fren.. my pal.. someone whom i used to rely on.. but.. now he's gone.. i just cant accept the fact...
matt went down to look for me and gave me some counselling.. shared his experience.. shared his woes.. we walked all the way from holland down to botanic garden and back...in the middle of the conversation.. i finally broke down.. matt was told me things that i really tink is true.. i m just like someone who is suddenly made to participate in the olympics weight lifting contest.. unprepared.. n made to carry a 400kg dumbell.. can i make it? perhaps with the cheering crowds.. the will power.. i might be able to do it.. but.. maybe just in a split seconds.. i will fall.. having someone who shares the load.. be it one, two, or even ten.. it'll always be better than being alone facing all the troubles flowing in... this example really allows me to relate to my current situation.. i need one to lean on.. its just too much to take.. get someone to share.. ppl reading.. trust me.. i really felt so much better after doing so.. though i aint really close wif matt.. but i must say... best frens aint best listeners.. back to his house at 5 and took a cab back... for da whole day.. i spent more den 30 bucks just on cab.. blame it on da midnite charges!
well.. i'd really like to treasure all i have in front of me ... den regretting after its gone.. hope that u guys have da same tinking too.. life is just like writing a story.. every moment accumulates to a chapter.. we can always review our past chapters and learn from it.. but we cant stop writing.. cos everything is meant to be. never get urself stucked at nowhere..
praise! it's me again. back alive..
5:00 PM
